Seeking to let go of bitterness

A very important relationship in my life came to an end a few weeks ago, and I've been so bitter since.

Why did it happen? What went wrong? What did I do? What could I or should I have done?

I've realized that it's OK to be upset, and it's OK to make my case with God. Job didn't hold back his complaints:

Job 7:11 -

Therefore I will not keep silent; 
   I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, 
   I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. (NIV)

And so I'm not keeping one bit of this quiet, 
   I'm laying it all out on the table; 
   my complaining to high heaven is bitter, but honest. (The Message)


"My complaining to high heaven is bitter, but honest." 


Yeah, I've been complaining to God, but I'm being honest. I don't think God would want me to smile and pretend everything is fine when inside my soul is aching because I don't understand. But holding onto bitterness and letting it fester in my soul is toxic.

Peter says the following to Simon the sorcerer after noting the condition of Simon's heart:

²² Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. ²³ For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” (Acts 8:22-23)

The last part of that verse made me realize that bitterness is part of the chains that hold us captive to sin, which can have devastating effects on our soul and on our life.


I Googled 'bitterness' to see what I could find and I came across this post: (I've extracted a few paragraphs below, adding my commentaries below):

Overcoming Bitternesss


Bitterness is the archenemy of hope, the ultimate corruptor of faith. 
That's never felt more true to me than now! I keep asking God to give me hope, praying that my lost relationship can be restored, but I'm never going to fully achieve hope or restoration if I don't let go of the bitterness that is corrupting my faith and clouding my sense of hope.


Bitterness sucks away joy, keeps us ever mired in the past, robs us of the ability to celebrate life and all its possibilities. 
It's so hard to have joy when bitterness is infecting my soul. Like cancer it just spreads and eats away at me. It keeps sending my thoughts to the past where I perpetually analyze what happened and wonder why God let it happen. Why didn't God step in sooner to save the relationship so that it wouldn't be cut off completely? Doesn't He care? My bitterness does in fact rob me of the ability to celebrate my life and the fact that I am alive and embraced by the grace of God! It keeps me from seeing the endless possibilities God has for my life, perhaps as a result of losing a relationship that I held onto too tightly.


In order to thrive, bitterness averts its gaze from God’s grace and mercy, focusing instead on the multitude of ways He and people we’ve counted on have let us down. He said He loved me. How could He let this happen to me? Bitterness is forever making its case that God is hateful and vindictive — the exact opposite of who He is.
This probably convicted me most. I have turned from God's mercy and have focused on the ways that He let me down. But the truth is, God LOVES me. He loves the person I've been separated from, too. As Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." 


My harm is not God's pleasure or intent- that's what Satan seeks. Sometimes we go through things in life that don't make sense, and they hurt a lot at the time, but I have to trust that better things are yet to come because God is loving- not hateful.


Bitterness makes us myopic and self-obsessed, focusing only on our deficits and what we want and need.
I've felt so selfish lately, focusing on how much I've been hurt and how disappointed I am. I haven't thought about the other person and what he needs. God is helping me see that if I care about the other person, I will step back and let God step in to take care of his needs; God will do the same for me, too, if I'll only let Him. 


Do you struggle with bitterness and disappointment? If so, you don’t have to let it continue to define your existence. Ask God to come into your heart and help you forgive those who’ve hurt you so deeply. Tell Him truthfully what you feel, including any anger you have toward Him. Ask Him to give you new eyes to see His blessings in your life, and to replace your spirit of bitterness with a spirit of gratitude. Allow Him to minister to your broken heart. He WILL do it. Just ASK.


And so, I'm trying to be truthful with God so that I might let go of the bitterness I've no need to harbor. I've made my complaints and now I need to accept God's love and grace so that He can mend my heart and lead me on towards the better things He has planned for me. 

Ephesians 4:30-32 (New International Version, ©2010)

³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I am trying, Lord, to let go. As I let go of my bitterness, will You please fill me with the kindness and compassion that I need to forgive those who hurt me because You reached out and forgave me first.