The first blog post....

Oh, the intimidating and scary first post.

The hardest part about beginning something is just that: the beginning. You want to give something a try, but uncertainty keeps you on the edge. Can I succeed? Do I have what it takes? How will I measure up with all of those who have tried this before me?

I took a creative writing class in high school where my teacher had us choose our own journal, which we could personalize however we wanted, and every day we were required to write something. Often times he'd provide us with the topic, but sometimes we had to come up with our own entries. The ones I had to come up with on my own were often the most difficult. I'd question whether my ideas were good enough; I felt pressure to come up with something original and amazing.

I remember my teacher told us we could leave the first page of our journal blank, since the first page is often the most intimidating. The idea was that we could come back to that page later once we felt confident about what we wanted to put on that first page.

I love journals. My favorite section at Barnes and Noble is the journal section. The store always has such a vast selection of unique journals. Once I bought a journal from Barnes and Noble that was made in India: its pages were textured and unlined. I liked having the freedom to write anywhere on the page, in any way I wanted, not just within the lines. It was bound with string and had some kind of pressed leaf on the cover. It's probably my favorite.

I haven't bought a journal in a long time. A year or two ago I began journaling on my computer because I'm a busy college student. I realized that I can type a lot more in an hour than I can handwrite. I probably get more thoughts down that way, too. But I miss my journals. I remember how thrilling it was flip through the clean, blank pages, wondering what kinds of thoughts I might fill them with. And yes, the first page was always the most intimidating.

This post, being the first for this blog, intimidates me. I'm not sure if I have "blogging" material, or if I even know how to do this whole blogging thing. I don't know if I have what it takes, but I won't know unless I try.

I titled this blog "Earnestly Seeking," because I am a seeker, but I don't just seek things passively. Can you even seek things passively? I feel like that's not really seeking....

In my 'About Me' I listed some of the things I am earnestly seeking. One of those is creativity and the means by which to express it. I enjoy reading Donald Miller's blog and a recent post of his talks about creativity. He poses these questions:

What do I love to do? Am I good at it, and if not, am I practicing and do I love the practice. And lastly, what am I making.

Let go and create. 

OK Don, here is my attempt to let go and create.

I love to write, I love to think, I love to connect with others. Am I good at it? Fairly so. It's a strength of mine, at least.

Am I practicing? Yes. I'm a journalism student, so the opportunities to practice writing and connecting with people are endless. I love the practice. Being out in the community, talking with strangers and collecting thoughts and information is so much more exciting than reading a textbook or solving math problems.

What am I making? I'm trying to produce work (whether written or visual) that others care about. Yes, I want to produce work that I care about, but I hope to find some common ground.

Well, there it is. My first post. If you made it all the way through, then answer this question:

What are you earnestly seeking?

Thanks for reading.

-Bethany